Published: 16 July 2009 Written by Bob Stone
A person God uses is like the mom with persistent faith.
Once in awhile, I hear, I irritate people.
Sometimes it's unintentional; I'm not as sensitive as I should be. I don't respond as I should. Sometimes I get on a subject and beat it to death. Sometimes I'm just ornery.
Other times, I have to admit, I irritate or bug people intentionally. I know I shouldn't, but sometimes I just can't help myself. I have a weird sense of humor that gets me in trouble. I once received from a member of our worship team an e-mail with an amazing list of ideas on how to irritate and annoy people. Some of them I would never do. Some I wish I could do, but can't. Some I will do. Some of you will be the recipients.
You'll have to check the appendix for the complete list, but here a few examples of
How to Annoy Someone:
Can you imagine, moms, what might happen if your kids, even grown kids, got hold of this list?
There are times we can't avoid irritating people. I want us to look in Scripture at an irritating mother, a woman whose irritating actions and persistence were absolutely necessary to accomplish God's will for her life... a woman who pushed beyond the annoyance of people and resolutely sought God's will for her daughter. The mother we are going to read about probably did many other good things for her daughter, but this one incident must be the most significant of all.
The story tell us of a mother who had a daughter who was demon-possessed. She had no control over herself, and was suffering terribly! This mother didn't know what to do, until she got the news that Jesus was in town. She must have thought, "If I could only get to Jesus, He might help me."
The complication? She was a Gentile, and Jesus was a Jew. The Jews had no dealings with Gentiles. They considered them unclean. Would Jesus be any different?
Turn to Matthew 15:21-28, to see what happens.
Leaving that place, Jesus withdrew to the region of Tyre and Sidon. A Canaanite woman from that vicinity came to him, crying out, "Lord, Son of David, have mercy on me! My daughter is suffering terribly from demon-possession." Jesus did not answer a word. So his disciples came to him and urged him, "Send her away, for she keeps crying out after us." He answered, "I was sent only to the lost sheep of Israel."
The woman came and knelt before him. "Lord, help me!" she said. He replied, "It is not right to take the children's bread and toss it to their dogs."
"Yes, Lord," she said, "but even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters' table." Then Jesus answered, "Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted." And her daughter was healed from that very hour.
Now, this story is difficult to understand because of Jesus' statements, so we must understand what is being said here. But don't lose sight of the mom. To keep that focus as we go through this passage, here's one observation I want all mothers to see today. It is made for the benefit of the children in your life.
Your children are being trained how to handle/respond to their future trials and troubles by watching you walk through your present crises, especially how to go to Jesus in difficult and impossible moments.
When you go through trials, your children are watching and being trained on how to handle obstacles, trials, hard times; how to be believers and Christian parents. Keep these observations in mind as we walk through this incident of a mom and her daughter, and try to think about what the daughter was learning from this crises.
In Matthew 15:21, notice first where Jesus and His disciples were. "…Jesus withdrew to the region of Tyre and Sidon"—v. 21. This passage has tremendous implications of which we need to be aware. William Barclay says,
"Apart from everything else, it describes the only occasion Jesus went outside Jewish territory. The supreme significance of the passage is that it foreshadows the going out of the Gospel to the whole world. In other words, it shows the beginning of the end of all barriers." The Gospel of Matthew, p. 120.
This also appears to have been a time for quiet and rest. Mark 7:24, a parallel passage, says, "Jesus left that place and went to the vicinity of Tyre. He entered a house and did not want anyone to know it; yet he could not keep His presence secret."
The end of our Lord's earthly ministry was very near, so it appears He wanted some time of quiet. The Lord may also have wanted to spend some quality time with the disciples, away from the clamor of the crowds. The disciples needed to understand what was ahead and needed some special time with Him.
The region of Tyre and Sidon is where the Phoenicians dwelt. William Barclay also says:
"Here He could for a time...be safe from the malignant hostility of the Scribes and Pharisees, and the dangerous popularity of the people. No Jew would be likely to follow here into the Gentile territory"—Ibid., p. 121.
The woman in our story is called a Greek—a SyroPhoenician by birth, in Mark 7:26. She was from this territory. Though He was in Gentile territory, Jesus couldn't be free from human need. He couldn't hide His presence. That's still true today—wherever Jesus is, people will come!
The request is found in v. 22—"A Canaanite woman from that vicinity came to Him, crying out, 'Lord, Son of David, have mercy on me! My daughter is suffering terribly from demon-possession.'" This was a repeated crying out. The specific title she called Him was "Lord, son of David..." the language of someone who recognized Jesus as the Messiah. Somehow she knew who He was and believed in Him. That was why she was so persistent.
Her specific request was "Have mercy on me..." She had the right words. She didn't ask for justice; she asked for mercy. In essence she was saying, "Jesus, see the circumstances from my perspective; don't give me what I deserve." (Mercy triumphs over judgment—James 2:13.)
I'm reminded of a mother who started out praying for her son in the following manner: "Lord, save my boy. He's such a good boy." (There was no response.) Then she received a fuller understanding of God's mercy and grace, affecting how she prayed. Her instructed prayer was, "Lord, save my boy. He deserves to die, because he's a sinner, but have mercy on him." The request was granted.
I hear some today who speak to God in such nonchalant and flippant ways—not asking for mercy, but demanding answers. It's as if God has to jump every time they pray for something, or if they somehow do a few Christian disciplines during the week, God is obligated to give them whatever their hearts desire These attitudes show little understanding of God's holiness, and our righteousness. Our goodness is as filthy rags. We have received and continue to receive help in the time of need, not because of anything we have done, but because of His mercy and grace.
The mom who understands the grace and mercy of God will raise her children different from one who doesn't. The children who grow up with a healthy "awe" and appreciation of God will be profoundly affected. Conversely, children will have no respect, no fear when that is modeled for them by their parents.
Besides her understanding of her sinfulness, why did this mother make this request? The request for mercy came because of two reasons:
There's a lot we don't know about this story. We don't know why the daughter was demon possessed. It could have been because of the daughter's own choice, or it could have been because of the mother's or the father's influence. What we do know is, her daughter was suffering terribly, and this mom wanted to help.You know, there is no one like a mom to sympathize with your hurt and find a solution for it! If a child gets hurt, nine out of 10 times, he'll go to mom.
Here's a mom who saw the suffering of her child, and everything within her looked for a solution. She did the right thing—she came to Jesus. But what did He do?
"Jesus did not answer a word. So His disciples came to Him and urged Him, 'Send her away, for she keeps crying out after us'"—v. 23.
Isn't it amazing that Jesus said nothing? (Is she "annoying" him?) Let me ask, have you ever been there, mom? You cry earnestly to God, but there seems to be no answer—no response—only silence. What's our response when we hear nothing? What do we sometimes do? We are tempted to doubt that Jesus answers prayer, that He cares. We give up! "I don't want to annoy him/bother him by asking again."
How did the disciples respond? They seemed to be obviously annoyed! We don't know if they were saying, "answer her request so she won't cry out after us," or "send her away; we don't care if you answer her request or not." Whatever the case, this response is typical for so many people. Many are embarrassed; they have no patience with the needs of others. They get tired of hearing about their troubles, especially the trouble they have with their children. They're annoyed!
Such was the case with the disciples. Matthew, remember, was present at this event, so he was aware of what the disciples were saying and feeling. They wanted the woman gone.
Finally, Jesus responds to the disciples, but not to the woman. The next few verses are hard to understand, on the surface. Here's the reason He didn't reply to the woman:
"He answered, 'I was sent only to the lost sheep of Israel"—v. 24.
Now what does that mean? The answer isn't complicated. In the time Jesus was allotted on this planet, His primary purpose was to go to the lost sheep of Israel, God's chosen people. He saw all of His people as lost, and it was His mission to extend the message of salvation and repentance to them, first. It was also necessary for Jesus to confine His efforts to a limited area, to the people best prepared for His mission.
Think about it now: The children of Israel had thousands of years of preparation. They had the sacrificial system, the Old Testament, the patriarchs. They were prepared to receive the Messiah; the Gentiles were not, with a few exceptions. The Law had to be fulfilled first, then the message would be spread to the whole world. So Jesus was reflecting the priority of His mission, not discrimination.
At various times in our lives we have the same types of decisions to make. We think or say, "We can't help everyone, so Lord, who are you calling us to reach first?" One of the most difficult decisions I make every week is where to spend my time, and who I should be with. My heart is to be with everyone, but that is impossible, so I have to make a choice. In the process I have annoyed a lot of people!
The woman in our story probably didn't hear the explanation. All she was aware of was the silence. Most of us would have interpreted that silence as a no—but not this woman! I like her spirit.
"The woman came and knelt before him. 'Lord, help me!' she said."
This is humble faith. Notice the deepening of her request. Here the woman knelt before the Lord and asked for help. She had the posture of worship, and unashamedly asked for help in the presence of others. Surely Jesus would respond now. However, He responded in a way that almost seems cruel, at first glance. Remember, however; Jesus isn't cruel, what He was doing had a purpose. In fact, what Jesus said was a reflection of His confidence in this woman's faith. He wanted it to be revealed!
"He replied, 'It is not right to take the children's bread and toss it to their dogs."
This certainly sounds politically incorrect to us! It sounds so heartless, but interestingly, the woman to whom the remark was made was not hurt by these words. She saw the Lord's eyes, and the expression on His face, and knew He was still open to answering her request. So before we say Jesus' response shows His lack of love, make sure we interpret His words in the light of the woman's response, and not what we read into it from our vantage point.
Barclay says:
"A thing which seems hard, can be said with a disarming smile... and tone which takes the sting out of it and fills it with affection. We can be quite sure that the smile on Jesus' face, and the compassion in His eyes, robbed the words of insult and bitterness"—Barclay, p. 132.
Obviously the Lord used these words to show precedence only. It is wrong to suggest that "crumbs" implies the Gentiles receive only a fragment of what is given to Israel. The point is, they (the Jews) had the first shot at the food. Jesus wanted the woman to see that the Jews had the priority, at this point. It's also interesting that Jesus used a word for dogs that implies "little dogs." This meant they were dogs who belonged to the household, not the unclean scavengers from the street. This woman, a Greek, was quick to see the distinction. That's why she alluded to household dogs in her response.
"Yes, Lord," she said, "but even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters' table."
Jesus loved this response. The woman responded as He wanted her to. He saw that when this woman's faith was tested, it stood the test—it was triumphant. That's the whole point of this conversation. I believe the Lord was testing this woman's faith all the way through the incident. Why? I don't believe it was to discover the quality of her faith; He knew that in advance.
There were four reasons for the test.
Oh, I want us all to know this as well. God is not testing us so He can know what our faith is like—He already knows that. God wants our relationship to be revealed, and He wants our lives to be a testimony to others as well. Thus we are often tested so our faith will be revealed, tested and grow—James 1.
Moms, dads, everyone studying with us; let's take a look at our faith.
Is it persistent? Mom, what characterizes your life? Are you like this woman? If so, there will be great rewards. This story reveals the rewards of persistent faith.
"Then Jesus answered, 'Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.' And her daughter was healed from that very hour."
Definition: great means "great of magnitude, large measure." Mark 7:30 says, "She went home and found her child lying on the bed, and the demon gone."
Can you imagine how that mom felt? Can you imagine how grateful the daughter was? What story do you think that daughter told that best described her mother? Listen, moms. Your persistence is vitally needed by your children. I don't care how good or bad your child is now, or will be. He or she will always need a mom who hangs in there: one who persists in prayer when things get tough and the enemy seems to be winning. Don't be put off by the Lord's seeming silence, or the lack of response from your children. Keep persisting in prayer!
Don't let others' annoyance at your persistent faith keep you quiet! Keep on praying, asking and seeking an answer for your children—for all your needs. Remember, your children are being trained how to handle/respond to their future trials and troubles by watching you walk through your present crises, especially how to go to Jesus in difficult and impossible moments.
When you go through trials, your children are watching and being trained about:
Learn your lessons well, for your kids' sake!